What am i really holding onto?

In life there are many types of relationship that we are presented with.. either that be family love, loves from friends, love and compassion from a stranger or Love with someone who claims to be that person for you...I my self question the last one all the time... someone who claims to love you.. what is love for them and what is love for you? a question i always ask and never seem to find the correct answer..is it meant to be something mutual or is meant to be unbalanced?? does everyone have their fair share or is there one that is more dominant... I myself have been in relationship now for seven months.. i think back and look back to when i first said those three words and now i wonder the reasoning behind me saying it...back then when i said it was filled joy and happiness but now i seem to say it out of resentment or out of fear... fear of losing someone you begun to make your world revolve around...I today was given a proposal from the one that so called loves me... they suggest "we spend too much time together we need time apart i dont wanna see everyday" ..its funny isn't it .. the person i once took for granted said that they loved me and want to be with me every day and i replied i loved them to but i didnt want to spend everyday with them... and now today i say i love you and wanna be with you everyday and my response is i love you but i think everyday is too much... Karma...life definetly has a way with playing with you..I now today question myself why do i still love someone whose changed so much..whose brought upon so much misery compared to happiness...and to be honest i myself have no idea...maybe its the fact that i ve built my life around them now, everything i do involves them and i'm afraid these plans might shatter or i cant go at it alone? or maybe its just because i am so used to it now? or maybe cause i love them so much that i just cant let go... Whatever the reason it could never be mutual.. The things I've done the things i've given up.. they would never know..It's funny how life gets you back..once upon a time i took a love one for granted.. I'd never had him top of my priority list..did i love him .yes. but did i put him first? no...Today i am left with the same thing now the claimed love of my life chooses fun over me like that *click*... and yet i cant help to pull myself away i just cant... Life is funny but its never fun...the pain i go through the tears i cry soemtimes they are done in vain..never to be felt..never to be known.. and never to be heard.. So will my life get any better from this oe will i always be put second or third and never first.. will i never find someone who can have the mutual ideas and feelings of a realitonship as i do..maybe the perfect person in life for you is someone who gets their definition of love to match yours... or someone to redefine love for you or you for them..maybe thats true love..and maybe just maybe one day i would be happy....maybe just maybe one day i ll be worth more than thought and valued more then i am granted at the moment...maybe just maybe life can be fun and not funny...Maybe