Birthday's Dread or Love

Day by day each year, there is always that one countdown that everyone does, and I don't mean like the new years count down, its the countdown to your birthday. The day supposedly in the whole year thats suppose to be dedicated to yourself, the one day where people around you make you feel special, the one day that you realise you made a difference to the people around you, the difference you made to the world and also the difference you've made to yourself. Your birthday is a mark of your life experiences, the end of a chapter and a beginning of a new in your book. With age people say comes knowledge comes experience and comes purpose for which you are born. As the human beings God has made us to be, we all think that we are special in way or another and that is true but as true as that sounds the other truth is sometimes people will not recognise that special you. Some people may not even acknowledge your existence let alone your birthday.. And yet it may not bother you the whole world doesnt know its your birthday, you don't mind if the people that pass you by dont greet you the best wishes and you may not even care if people who message you on facebook with their wishes mean it or not.... You care about the people thats around you, those that you've been raised with, those you've created a bond with and especially the one you love.. Some may ask their loved ones to acknowledge their existence on that day with gifts and praise and celebration.. others prefer to keep it mellow and just prefer to wake up to their loved ones with a smile and just simple wishes or even a hug... I myself though i must admit seem to be very materialistic and vain but my birthday wishes have been simple for the past five years its just that i get to be loved by a special someone and spend my birthday with them.. have a picnic, watch the sunset, go water skiing i dont know as long as it was just the two of you .. the world cease to exist.... but still wishes dont always come true, five years running noting that this will be my sixith, i havent had once an actual birthday where i ve spent with anone i loved its either i ve been alone or people have failed to remmber or its just me and myself....I guess I've learnt to deal with it but deep down there still that little boy whose blowing a candle inside himself for the same wish every yaer and keep telling himself it will eventually happen..someday i know it will happen.

Regret, Pride and Stupidity

Living in a world where everywhere you turn and everyone you see your constantly being judge. To live in a world like such there is no blame for the insecurity that human beings are grown to live with... As a safety blanket we tend to hide these insecurities of ours through Lies and excuses... In front of others we would lie about our friends our family, our life and even our loved ones..Why?.. because we don't anyone in life to look down on us or we try to fit in... we lie about what we have, what we don't have and what we want... we lie so much in life that a point in life we begin to fool even oursleves we begin to lose our intuitions, our morales and even our true selves... then if there are any flaws within these lies... what do we do? we fill it up with excuses... but a jar can only hold so many cookies and our lives can only hold so much lies and excuses.... Once caught up in these lies we are at times unable to be honest because were scared of the word "pride".. by being honest we think we lose pride and makes us vunerable to being judged.. Sometimes we have to much pride and that can stand in the way of us being happy.. we're so caught up with trying to perfect ourselves in front of others and to our fake selves that we eventually loose this thing we call "happiness" ... We do things where we regret and knowing we have the chance we can fix it with sometimes what a simple word like "sorry" but why don't we do it? because ..because of the thing called pride.. we live in regret and realise at a point in time why we are so stupid.. what have we got to loose a bit of pride for our happiness.. So live life with a bit more courage and bit more dignity.. dignity not to the world and people around you but dignitiy for yourself do things that will make you happy... Too much pride= regrets= stupidity so I admit it sometimes i have to much pride and i think its time to realise i rather be stupid and happy then .. fake proud and self regret.. :) I'm with stupid

Waiting

LIfe is a waiting game, sometimes you wait for the perfect moment to ask a question, sometimes you wait for an answer and sometimes you just wait to hear those specific words and lets face it boys you know you wanna hear it as well. Sometimes the wait seems so long but then when it comes , it makes your day and relieves you of the burden of waiting. Then there are times when you're waiting to be asked something or wait to give an answer but you never get that chance and you keep telling yourself you can wait but really deep down you begin to ask yourself " really can i continue, can i keep waiting?", all the effort you put in just to hear those words but everyday it seems more unliekly to happen then at that point you begin to live in despair. With waiting comes hope and with hope comes despair. ife is the ultimate watiing game because everyone is born into world filled with waiting. Everyday we wait for something, may that something be waiting to see a loved one or waiting for the school bell to ring at the end of a day. We wait for the good and expect the bad. The bigger the thing we wait for the more hope we place in it, may that thing be a tattersalls ticket or even just a simple question. To live in a world filled with things to wait for we must learn to have patience. As human as we are and as unique as each individual we are everyone has their own tolerance of patience. Patience may be a virtue but waiting is a bitch. So with a set patience live , learn and respect. :) p.s. if your keeping someone waiting dont be a douche waiting is painful.

To live to lie to cry.. the first true chapter- to live

Were living in a world filled with loved, hatred, Joy, sadness, awe and wonder... The question thats been asked by many philosophers is " why do we live , whats the purpose of life?" ... To me i think there is no answer to satisfy the question and there isn't any true satisfaction that will bring an answer to the question. As the human race, each individual will strive for perfection, from the way we present ourselves in public to the way we look and think of ourselves in our own reflection through a mirror. We strive to be popular, we want to have a place in society, we want to be loved by everyone that surrounds us, but little do we realize that each step we think we are closer to perfection a bigger hole of imperfection is left behind. I myself am not here to judge anyone by any chance but i've seen it for myself people who want to make friends try to make themselves fit in may that be losing weight, trying to buy the unafforable clothes or to just brag on about themselves.... but truly the worries and the effort that they go through brings them the vast amount of misery only to realise that the joy of the achievement was not worth all the sorrow at all... Everything in life seems to be balance.. in life were given both good and bad things.. but if we try to obtain too much of one thing it seems we throw of this balance.. and most of the time the balance is uncontrollable.. but we've be taught in movies that we should give everything a risk give it a chance... perhaps the teachings are right if you take a chance at something your unsure you might end up having more good then bad or visa versa... Life its all an experience people say and i say thats completely true... Like i said life can be a balance of good and bad but the experience that we have in life may give us an upper hand at the risk we take that is to ensure we have more of an idea of the result as of a decision.... So i say take life as it comes, dont try to define the purpose of life, learn from experiences and try to upperhand and the good and bads of life....

dysfunctional life much

Living in a world where each individual has their own views of life their own ways of living and their own way of pursuing life as it comes...We live in a world where what we do cant please everyone and not everyone pleases us... As humans we have the trait of being quite selfish though we hardly admit it but deep in us its true.. we want things to go our way and for everything good for us sometimes regardless of anothers feeling... we demand respect , we demand to be loved we demand everything to be as we want but what happens when we dont get things our way we find someone something to blame..If things go our way and everyone and everything is what we want then we dont learn to appreciate the things that happen and things that dont happen.. we dont learn to repsect the people who deserve it and we dont learn who is worthy of respect and who isnt.. Life through many of its challanges, propose to us a new experience and a new lesson in life, but ultimately we are the key holders to this decision of accepting lifes proposal.. Life offers us love, loss, heartbreaks and happiness.. but if we deny all these things life offers then how would we learn, how would we be able to differentiate the things we want in life and the things we dont want.. So life can be a bitch but liek the old saying goes build a bridge and get over it but sometimes that bridge has to be made from respect, experience, appreciation and sometimes we may get a helping hand to build it so we gotta learn to appreciate it.. But ultimately the bridge needs the key stone of time.. time is the answer to everything but everything is also questioned by time... Love, Respect and Trust

Time=Age=Stupidity

Theres a point in time when Reality actually hits you.. For me it was a few hours ago.. After cleaning my room i came across a picture of me approximately i don't know 3-4 years agoo.. i look at the picture but i cant help but feel a sadness that overcome and supresses me... Thoughts were running through my mind and so were tears down my face, which i fought so hard to fight back..pussy i know but hey i aint going to bunnings anytime soon to buy some cement to harden up... i looked at the picture and i look into my own eyes though there isnt any physical changes to the eyes but its just there was a feeling of innocence in there, there was feeling of being free still not giving a damn about the world and still finding out about life... oh how the those feelings are so craved for today.. so what i realise i pass year twelve .. i get into uni going to spend the next three and a half years there .. then what i get a job and my life would then be revolved around a set time and a routine that will soon be impossible to penetrate... the craving now that i have to go back to the days when i still had my innocence still felt like i could achieve anything..

as we are we tend to take so many things for granted, may that be love or may that be just a simple feeling of being empty minded. but why is it that we take these emotions these feelings for granted at the time? is it because we havent matured enough ? or is it because were so used to having those feelings that we'd never think we lose it but until one day when you realise you have lost it then you actually begin to miss it...

i 'm in a realtionship atm and there are certain things that cant always be perfect.. somethings i myself took for granted at first but learn to appreciate it later on when its all dissapearing... Those disgusting pet names i get.. gives me the chills ... but it seems nowadays i dont hear it anymore i crave for it .. i do things and say things in hope i can hear it again but its just not there anymore... Then there is me putting the effort to call everyday.. at first it was all good but then after a while they dont appreciate it they talk in a bad mood.. always trying to hang upp...but there are somethings you just cant force in life i guess.. but hey life goes on hopefully soemthing good will happen.. because never say never and there is always a silver lineing... even when you eventually get stuck in the daily routines of life there always something that can make you smile though compared to the many things that can make you worry there are so many more. .. but a smile day and you'll be on your way.. on your way through life that is ;)